MASTURBATION
Seed: 1
Overview: If you don’t know, you better acks somebody
Pros: Easily the most fun way to lose your eyesight.
Cons: The simple fact that Masturbation received a low seed count (1) may prove problematic for the age old practice.
Outlook: Masturbation seems to have found a way to deal with Dora’s most stalwart defender and steals leader by yelling “SWIPER NO SWIPING!” However, many have looked for Masturbation to be upset in the tournament ever since Onan was struck dead for spilling.
DORA THE EXPLORER
Seed: 16
Overview: Having exploded onto the scene in 2000 with her child friendly Spanglish programming, Dora has been credited as the reason why our children can now speak two languages poorly.
Pros: She’s a cheap babysitter
Cons: Being paired against Masturbation, most of Dora’s fan base will not be allowed to attend the event to show their support for the underdog due to the presence of no no special spots.
Outlook: Having lost Diego to his own spinoff means Dora likely won’t have a proper big man in the low post.
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