SHATNER
Seed: 1
Overview: Big victories for Bill Shatner include wins over the Klingons and unfair rate hiking hotels. Having narrowly pulled the upset over Patrick Stewart in the Enterprise Captain’s Conference, Bill Shatner will get a chance to boldly go all the way this year.
Pros: Sexy as a svelte James T. Kirk, sexier as pleasantly plump Denny Crane.
Cons: Khaaaaaaaaans!
Outlook: Shatner should have a good idea of NCLB’s game plan, as in Star Trek IV he spearheaded the No Whales Left Behind initiative.
NO CHILD LEFT BEHINDSeed: 16
Overview: The Bush Administration’s brilliant education plan has edged its way into the tournament this year by doing what it does best, threatening to kill anyone who doesn’t perform.
Pros: Everyone knows how to take standardized tests; Flashy packaging.
Cons: You got a few minutes?
Outlook: It doesn’t look good for NCLB as apparently punishing people for doing their job doesn’t make them perform any better.
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