SOULJA BOY
Seed: 4
Overview: Souja Boy Tellem (what the hell kind of name for a rapper is that anyway?) can be credited with starting a new trend in hip hop...one in which seventeen-year-olds just walk around all goofy like screaming "YAHHHH" in the face of unsuspecting white people (like Taft?) who are just trying to figure out what in the devil he's talking about. BIGGITTTY BAHHHH!
Pros: Lots of people still don't know what "Superman that Hoe" means. Once they catch on it may be over for the seventeen-year-old (I wonder if his mother knows.) Either that or it will just become acceptable.
Cons: Got F's on his report card.
Outlook: Soulja Boy should cruise. I'm trying to think of more to say but I can't stop laughing at the prospect of Soulja Boy and Taft competing against each other at anything. Seriously...chess, freestyling, diplomacy, ping pong, farting competitions. Every single one of these would be hilarious.
TAFT
Seed: 13
Overview: William Howard Taft was the 27th president of the United States. He is also believed by many historians (like my good friends SixTimes) to be our "most walrus looking" president.
Pros: It seems like he would be likable. Plans to beat Soulja Boy at his own game by releasing the new hot dance/single "Bust Your Trust."
Cons: Could stand to lose a few pounds.
Outlook: I fully expect Taft to...ummm...ok, I'm sorry. Now I'm just picturing Taft doing the "Crank That" dance.
1 comment:
Taft once got stuck in his bathtub and then ordered one to hold him-the biggest bathtub to have ever been built. I bet it's still the biggest to have ever been built. He's a beast!
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