HAM
Seed: 8
Overview: Often confused with the non-kosher cuisine, Ham was the son of Biblical boater Noah, who is often confused with fiction.
Pros: Has bested tougher opponents…like the flood.
Cons: Is named Ham.
Outlook: It might be a rough match-up for Ham, seeing as historically his approach has been waiting till his opponent (or dad), is drunk, and then taking advantage of him. Lets hope Dan O’Brien likes the sauce.
DAN O’BRIEN
Seed: 9
Overview: Dan O’Brien was a former Olympic gold medalist in the decathlon and has been referred to as the best decathlete of the 90’s. No one debates this because no one knows any other decathletes from the 90’s. Best known for his Reebok promotional “Dan vs. Dave” competition. No one really knows what happened to Dave.
Pros: Is good at sports games
Cons: Was a decathlete in the 90’s.
Outlook: If Dan has kept up his game, he may be able to…um…what do decathletes do? Jump over Ham in some fashion, be it with a pole or preceded by a hop and a skip.
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